Others let someone adopt the child. Will your parents be angry, stressed, or emotional? Most parents fall somewhere in the middle. In the best of situations, parents can help you make important decisions and support your choices. I found out that I'm pregnant. Even if parents have a strong reaction at first, most want to help their children. It's good to think ahead about what you might do and how you may feel. Some families need the help of a counselor to talk about this difficult and complicated situation in a way that lets everyone be respected and heard. Your parents' personalities also play a part in how they'll react.
Sometimes, you might feel shock and disbelief. Talking about your options isn't easy, especially if none of them is what you had in mind. Other times, you may be scared or worried. If you think your parents might fall into this category — for example, if they have a history of physical violence — read the section on "Protecting Yourself" at the end of this article. In the coming months, you'll probably have many different feelings all at once. The Conversation First, find the words. Preparing to Talk to Parents No matter how close you are to your parents, you're going to wonder how they'll react. You might say, "Mom and Dad, I know I've disappointed you. Whatever you decide, it needs to be what you want, not what someone else wants you to do. Some families need the help of a counselor to talk about this difficult and complicated situation in a way that lets everyone be respected and heard. If you say what you think parents want to hear or make statements just to calm them, it might sound fake. Others let someone adopt the child. Tell them how you feel. Of course, most parents won't react with extreme anger. Let them know if you feel disappointed in yourself, too. If you can't imagine expressing your feelings out loud, consider writing them down in a letter. Sometimes a difficult situation brings people closer and strengthens their bonds. It's one thing if your parents realize you're having sex and they're OK with that. Even parents who know their teens are having sex can still be disappointed or worried about their future. For example, if you know you've disappointed them and you feel sorry about it, say that. You'll have many emotions to sort through and it will take time. Some are more emotional, more easily stressed out, more likely to get upset or angry, to yell or cry, or express themselves loudly. But it's another thing if they've forbidden you to date or if having premarital sex is completely against their values and beliefs. Most parents fall somewhere in the middle. Sometimes, however unexpectedly, a difficult situation can help a family discover unconditional love, support, kindness, forgiveness, acceptance, teamwork, and optimism.
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